Experiences as a Female Gamer

Once again as I was perusing back episodes of PBS's "GameShow" on YouTube (which I would recommend to anyone who likes reflecting on video games in a more thoughtful manner) I found one that really resonated with me.  Here's the episode:

Now, I'm not very well-versed in the whole "GamerGate" dramafest that seemed to be tearing up the interweb last year, but as a female gamer I do have an interest in issues related to ladies and their gaming experiences.  I can't say I've ever felt so offended by a game and it's portrayal of women that I've wanted to trash it.  I'm a fan of Grand Theft Auto which seems to be a series that garners so much negative attention for a wide variety of reasons.  But may of the issues discussed in this episode are relevant to my own experiences.

One sad fact of my gaming experience is that I actively try to avoid most multiplayer games.  I can't say  that I've had some totally awful event occur that made me quit forever, but I do find them to be a source of stress.  Especially games that throw you together with a large group of strangers.  I played World of Warcraft for over six years and had mostly positive experiences.  I credit this mostly to my extreme pickiness when selecting a guild.  I thoroughly vetted the guilds I joined to make sure that there wouldn't be drama (most of the time) and tried to find people who had a similar background to my own (working adults, mid-core gamers, friendly and helpful...like that).  I am not sure that my experiences are typical--one guild I belonged to was almost 50/50 male to female.  It was great because there were other women there.

But I do feel like I dealt with many of the issues that are covered in this video.  I don't like talking on voice chat and will usually mute it at the first opportunity.  I have had to answer questions about my gender (I've been told that I sound like a twelve year-old boy) for really no reason.  I've had really uncomfortable moments where people have asked me how old I was (I got a totally creepy vibe from that one and actually lied about it because of that vibe--if anyone asks I'm 65 and newly retired).  I've seen other women do ridiculous things to get in good with the crowd and then have it completely backfire (it's never a good idea to send anyone nudes--just don't do it!).  It's sad that I don't want to play multiplayer games because I know I'll be harassed, that I can't talk on voice chat, and that women are pressured to expose themselves to fit in.

I do think video games need a feminist voice.  I'm not saying that they need to completely change, but there is a deeply disturbing part of gamer culture that has made something that is supposed to be fun into something miserable for women.  Come on guys, think about it--you have an opportunity to share your hobby or passion with women.  Isn't that a good thing?  Wouldn't you rather share the experience than simply try to shut women out or isolate them?  Let's just enjoy our games together!