Romantic Entanglements--Mass Effect 2 Style

The romantic choices for Commander Shepard in the original Mass Effect were pretty straightforward.  For someone who puts way too much thought into the relationship status of fictional video game characters this was a good thing.  Then the second episode (and the best!) of the Mass Effect series was released and my poor Shepard was faced with a much more vexing array of romantic partners.  Let the ridiculous overthinking begin!

Pretty much sums up Jacob.

FemShep (the best Shep) has many choices in Mass Effect 2.  In my head paragon Shep would opt for one of two choices--Garrus or Jacob.  Jacob is the easiest choice--he's human, has a very similar background to Shep (military, likes to shoot things), and is actually kind of boring (not Kaidan-level boring but close) but his hotness makes up for it.  I concur with Kasumi in her unswaying desire to watch Jacob do sit-ups and also enjoy his ummm...Cerberus uniform (teehee :P).

But what about Garrus?  He's a tough choice for my paragon Shep because he's sort of a rebel himself and he's a total badass.  Sure, he's all uptight and turian but he is trying to do what he thinks is right in a vigilante kind of way.  And that whole "reach and flexibility" bit really proves it.  Plus, turians aren't exactly the most attractive aliens.  (I think I just admitted to caring about looks--how shallow.  Turian mandibles are weird!)  Would goody, goody Shep fall for a rebellious turian?  I think my renegade Shep would be much more likely to opt for Garrus.  In the numerous playthroughs of Mass Effect 2 I have never opted to romance Garrus.  I feel like I'm really missing out because I think there is a ridiculous dance sequence in the "Citadel" DLC for Mass Effect 3.

Thane is also an interesting choice for my lady Sheps.  It's really hard to peg him as more of a paragon or renegade interest.  I would view him as a paragon choice because he seems very sensitive and sweet...for an assassin.  Would paragon Shep fall for someone who kills people for a living?  Renegade Shep definitely would.  You have to consider the whole Kepral syndrome thing as part of the Thane relationship.  He's going to die and that's depressing.  Do you stick with him because of that (paragon)?

If you include the "Lair of the Shadow Broker" DLC you can opt to continue your relationship with Liara.  Strangely Liara is the only character from the entire series who you can romance in all three games.  There has been a lot of speculation about BioWare's seeming desire to force people into a relationship with Liara.  It really seems like they nudge you that way.  My paragon Shep will not usually choose Liara but she is a choice for my renegade Sheps (or male paragon Shep).

Male Shep also has some tough romantic choices to make.  Miranda, Tali, or Jack.  My paragon male Shep will lean toward Miranda or Tali.  Miranda can be a bit of a toss up and could also be a valid option for renegade Shep.  To me Miranda seems really insecure and like she needs some sort of reassurance about her abilities.  This chink in her armor makes me see paragon male Shep as a sort of protector.  At the same time her ice queen harshness and cockiness in her abilities make her a renegade choice.

Romancing Tali.  A life or death scenario.

Tali can be a difficult decision for my male Shep.  There is something slightly disturbing about a relationship with Tali.  Sure, she's really sweet in an innocent and quirky kind of way which is nice for paragon Shep.  On the other hand there's the whole suit issue that makes me feel weird.  If you do choose to romance Tali there's the reality that she will get sick.  Would paragon Shep really be like "Yeah, you could die but let's get it on anyway?"  That just seems wrong.  There is something really cute about Tali though and if you do choose her she gives you a picture of herself without the mask.

Jack is not a tough decision at all.  She's a criminal who is hell-bent on seeking out revenge on Cerberus for all their evils.  Paragon Shep wouldn't touch Jack with a ten foot pole but she is perfect for a renegade Shep.  I suppose you could play it from the angle of trying to "reform" Jack.  Nah, that seems weird.

Of course you could always go with the non-traditional choices.  Your friendly yeoman Kelly Chambers will feed your fish which is the Mass Effect 2 equivalent of marriage.  She'll also do a naughty dance in your private chambers if you decide to go that route.  If you are hoping for an asari option outside of Liara you can give Samara or Morinth a chance.  I've never gone that route and am intrigued.  Apparently you can opt to romance Morinth and die.  Why would you choose that?