A Giant Pile of Failure

Lately I've been bouncing back and forth between some classics and the one game that looms large on the zenith of my pile of shame--Divinity:  Original Sin.  I just can't make up my mind--one minute I want to shoot something and the next I want to strategize.  I'm going to attribute this restlessness to end of the year teacher brain.

I started my journey of failure in the classic Theme Hospital.  It's one of my all time favorites and I am usually content to put it on medium difficulty and glide through.  Since I have played through it about five hundred times I decided it was time to grow up and play it on hard mode.  At first it wasn't so bad, I was able to squeak out some victories and even got a few bonus rat shooting levels.   Once I reached the later levels...well, let's just say it was a bit of a vomit soaked disaster.  A tidal wave of patients constantly slammed my hospital and no matter how many doctors, nurses, or handymen that I hired I just couldn't keep up.  Combine this with the fact that on hard difficulty contagion outbreaks are extremely serious and almost impossible to contain--it spells absolute disaster!  After pounding my head on that brick wall for awhile I decided it was time to throw in the towel.  Someday...someday I will beat you on hard mode Theme Hospital.

My not-so-stunning failure led me to feel the need for a little angry shooting.  It had been several years since I had last booted up the Half-Life 2 series so I decided to give it a go.  As I reacquainted myself with the world of City 17 I was ushered back to 2004 and the thrill of one of the best games being released.  Playing through Half-Life made me realize how much things have changed in the last thirteen years of gaming.  Certain aspects of the game felt really silly and outdated--namely the lack of cover system (it felt extremely weird to be running around shooting a bunch of dumb enemies who weren't taking cover).  I had also forgotten how short the game really is--maybe 6-8 hours of play--that seems so miniscule today.  Despite all that Half-Life 2 is still a completely brilliant game--the quick pace of combat, the strong story that compels you to keep pushing forward, and the cliffhanger ending.  It really is a shame that the series was never completed.

After the brief but enjoyable foray into Half-Life 2, I decided I should try to tackle some of the games on my pile of shame.  A few years ago I had played through about 80% of Divinity:  Original Sin and then had given up for some reason.  It had been so long that I didn't think I could step back into that specific playthrough and feel comfortable with what I vaguely remembered from several years ago.  It was time for a new game!  Plus, there was the new "enhanced edition" which promised to take a fun CRPG and make it even better.  Last night I dedicated myself to creating a new duo of heroes and begin my second round of adventuring.

If you were like me and you played D:OS and found yourself a little frustrated by certain aspects of the game (the lack of tutorials and somewhat complicated mechanics of certain core CRPG features) it would be well worth your while to download the updated version.  There are new tutorials, menus, and voiceovers which take an already good game and make it great.  I had a hard time tearing myself away from it last night.

If you're thinking of spending your holiday weekend enjoying the great indoors--consider booting up a classic game or delving into your pile of shame.  Happy gaming!

Ol' Reliable

After a couple of weeks of pottering around in Stardew Valley I got a little bored--you can really only harvest virtual crops for so long before it gets a little dry.  The unfortunate next step was to figure out what to play next.  Should I try to stomach a new Mass Effect:  Andromeda adventure?  Nah, I'm saving that for summer.  Do I want to shoot things?  Kind of, but I'm currently in full relaxation mode and mostly want to come home and chill.  Rather than spend time jumping around from game to game I decided to return to one of my all time favorite oldies--Theme Hospital.

A busy hospital.

I love Theme Hospital.  It's a childhood classic that has stuck with me since 1997 and no matter how much I've played it, I'm always able to find something to enjoy.  If you're completely unaware of the magic that is Theme Hospital, let me give you a short rundown.  Theme Hospital is a hospital management game that is full of goofy jokes.  The diseases that afflict the fictional patrons are things like "Bloatyhead" which results in a massively swollen head that has to be popped and re-inflated to the correct pressure or "Baldness" which requires you to reattach a silly-looking head of hair onto a patient.  Behind this goofiness is fun and challenging management--you have to plan the layout of your hospital, hire doctors, specialists, receptionists, nurses, and handymen to make sure that everything runs efficiently.  Once hired you have to make sure that you're handing our bonuses and pay raises to keep everyone happy or else they just might walk out in the middle of a crisis.  You have to manage the budget, plan research, and make plans to expand.  There's plenty to keep you busy.

After 20 years, I've decided that it's time to finally tackle "hard" mode.  I felt amazingly confident as I plinked the button for "hard" thinking that I was ready.  Spoilers....hard is HARD!  The first few levels were a breeze, but once the number of new diseases increased things got a little chaotic.  In "hard" mode you will find that your personnel pool is decidedly smaller--there are fewer qualified doctors to choose from and you will have to suck up the cost of training specialists.  Patients are extremely un....patient...and will often decide they've waited long enough and leave.  They are also a lot more...vomit-ey than in normal mode.  As I've managed to squeak my way into the last few levels I've found that attempting to cover-up a contagious disease is downright impossible--it's better to take the reputation hit than be fined double the initial cost of covering it up.

One question that has been rolling through my head as I play this twenty year old game is "why hasn't anyone re-made this game?"  Re-masters and re-makes are all the rage and Theme Hospital is a confirmed classic!  It would be unbelievably awesome if someone made a new Theme Hospital.  I don't even know that I've seen very many hospital management sims out there.

Until the day that the Theme Hospital re-make happens I will have to content myself with furiously hiring handymen to sweep up vomit waves.

Get Theme Hospital on GoG for $5.99--Theme Hospital

Tranquility

It's May.  If you're not a teacher, that's probably not something you really care much about.  If you are a teacher then you will understand that May is not only a month, but also the feeling that you've run a marathon and you're on mile 20--the end is near, but not near enough!  You're tired, your patience is running thin, and you just generally want to get the thing over with.  I've completely reached this point (and, thanks to the magnificently snowy, cold El Niño this winter that end has been extended by a week--another 2 miles added onto the marathon) and all I look forward to at the end of the day is coming home and unwinding.  This unwinding includes playing games that would definitively fall into the "casual" and "relaxing" categories.  I have a few go-to relaxers that I turn to when I'm feeling the May crush.

1.) Stardew Valley

For some weird reason I've been spending a great deal of time down on the ol' farm.  I'm not even sure that I have any aims or goals.  At first it was simply about trying to experience the new content that was added to the game during year or so that I hadn't played.  Now, I'm just enjoying the challenge in trying to maximize my production and earn as much money as I can.  I suppose I am working toward building some of the expensive and fancy new magical buildings.

There's something soothing about the daily routine that you find yourself falling into as you play--it's repetitive, but it doesn't feel like a grind.  There aren't many games out there that can manage that exact concept without getting boring very quickly.

If you're finding that you need a little relaxation, I would recommend finding your favorite relaxing playlist and taking a virtual vacation on your happy little farm.

2.) Euro Truck Simulator 2

A glamor shot of my ETS2 truck.  Ain't it purty?

I was extremely shocked by how easily I fell into loving Euro Truck Simulator 2.  It's a game where you drive virtual big rigs around Europe (there's also some lightweight management, but it's more about the driving).  The trucks and landscapes are beautifully detailed so even though you're doing nothing more than maneuvering around the highway there are oodles to take in.  So simple, but so relaxing....definitely worth every penny.

Even though I own ETS2 and it's little brother truck driving game, American Truck Simulator, I will always opt for Europe.  There's something about the difference between the highway systems that makes Europe much more appealing to me.

3.) Viscera Cleanup Detail

Like ETS2, Viscera Cleanup Detail was a game that I never expected to enjoy.  It's a quirky game about cleaning up the grisly remains of science fiction inspired disasters.  For reasons that I can't completely understand there is something very, very satisfying about picking up body parts and mopping up puddles of goo.  Maybe it's seeing a level completely covered with gore and then seeing that same level sparklingly clean?  Maybe it's simply the satisfaction in a job well-done?  Who knows?

I find that listening to some nice, soothing music while playing is a fabulous way to relax.  Being a huge nerd, I usually like to listen to the soundtracks from other games.  I've made playlists that include music from The Witcher series, World of Warcraft, Dragon Age, and a few others.  I also enjoy downtempo or ambient when I'm feeling like something calming.

If you're feeling a little stressed or like you want a break from the intense world of competitive games, check out these three games.  When combined with your favorite low-key tunes they are the perfect formula for relaxation.

Back to the Farm

It has been quite while since I've have played any Stardew Valley and I decided that it was time to return to the peaceful world of farming.  There have been some changes to the game in the time since I last played and they appear to mostly be there for the sake of adding some variety.  I've rolled my new farmer and I'm ready to start growing crops and making friends.

As I was designing my new character the first change that I noticed was that there are now multiple options for the location of your farm.  Rather than just having the traditional plot of land you can now choose a farm that has specific benefits.  I opted for the "forest" farm which offers a spread of land for growing crops as well as a more densely forested area for harvesting lumber.  There are options that offer a larger pond that allows for fishing or one that has rocks located close by for those who enjoy mining.

Other changes seem more subtle and I am not sure that I have really discovered them all yet.  There are more marriageable characters (it seems like almost all the adult characters who aren't married are now marriageable) so you have more options when choosing your spouse.  Rather than just sitting around the house all day your spouse can opt to go outdoors and work on something specific to that character.  I chose to marry Leah and she often is found outside working on a large sculpture.  The option to divorce your spouse is another addition for those situations where you decide you're unhappy with your current partner.

This time around I think I'm going to opt for the Joja Corporation route.  Sure they might be an evil corporate empire bent on the destruction of a peaceful small town, but they do have those low, low prices!  I've done the local route and just want to experience some variety (down with Joja Corp.!).

My farm has grown into a small enterprise.

If you're like me and haven't played any Stardew Valley in awhile you might want to re-explore some of the new features.  I'm enjoying the peacefulness that I remember from my first adventures on the farm.  Happy farming everyone!